I had a great conversation with a fellow blogger last night about perspective, which inspired this post about relationships. Prior to starting Vanilla Extract last August, I was the girl behind The Lease Agreement. I wrote a lot about relationships and even drafted actual agreements for you to print out and present to your man. Simply put, The Lease Agreement was about thinking of your relationship in terms of a lease to keep him (and yes, you!) on your toes so you can fall in love, not in line.

When you’re in a relationship, you’re bound to get in a tiff (or 5). That’s life. You’re not perfect and neither is he. When those tiffs (as I like to call them) happen, it can be hard to convey how you feel and to get the other person to really hear you. A lot of the times, we become emotional and power through the tears by playing the blame game, or even worse, backing up an argument with empty words. It leaves both parties frustrated. Mad. Resentful.

Perspective is the relationship game-changer. Once you master it, you and your beloved will begin to resent less and appreciate more.

In order to communicate more effectively in a fight, you need to tell him how HE sees it from his perspective and vice versa. This is not easy because you might not want to see it from his perspective, which is probably why you’re in the tiff in the first place. You really begin to understand his point of view when the words come out of your mouth. Just try it.

It weighs heavier than just saying, “Well I see it from your perspective, but…” Do you really see it from his perspective? Does he see it from yours? Once you begin to verbalize each other’s perspectives, you can learn from it and grow together. Then, you become tiff-less.

(image via Kariz-Matik)